A Message to Spouses, Significant-Others, and Supportive Family & Friends
I am writing this for the friends and family of transgender people and specifically those that
have a transgender law enforcement officer in their lives.
TCOPS International is a professional peer support group for law officers from Federal,
State, or local agencies. As you know, cops come with special problems that set them
apart from other professions. Shift work, job stress, long hours, dealing with personal and
family security issues, substance abuse, alcoholism, mental health issues, and suicide all
take their effect upon them. We deal with a lot and so do you. Our loved ones care and
we get that.
TCOPS is not a place where we are trying to “convert” anyone into having “gender
identity” issues. We are a peer support group for those that have already recognized that
they may be “gender different” or have gender identity conflicting feelings.
People that have GID are suffering from a kind of pain that you may not see or understand
because it is usually an internal conflict; one that they have hidden all of their lives due to
fear, embarrassment, uncertainty, and because transgender people are the target of hatred
and bias in society. Transgender people do not seek, try, or want to “be this way” and no
one is “turning them into being transgendered.” They already are in their own minds or
they would not be here.
The TCOPS Discussion Group on Yahoo Groups allows transgender officers a safe and
secure place to explore and discuss their feelings, the medical and psychological
condition, and aspects of gender transition in the workplace. They can do this without
public scrutiny into this very private of issues, in their lives.
TCOPS is here primarily to support the transgender officer, but also to assist them in
dealing with family issues, explaining GID to family or providing resources to family and
friends to help educate themselves about the condition.
Our experience in helping family work through these issues has shown that supportive
family and friends can improve the well-being of your loved one, if not save their very life.
This can be a highly emotional time for all concerned and no one knows and understands
that, better than then the affected officer. Their sense of guilt is tremendous without added
Transgender people have one of the highest suicide rates known; even higher than
combat veterans. If you add that the person is also a law officer that rate skyrockets and
becomes a huge concern for their very lives. It should be a concern for you as well; one
which should play a part into your actions and interactions with your loved-one, because
you may never see it coming. As law officers they are skilled at masking their emotions.
Please be supportive. If you cannot be supportive, be kind and remember what emotional
damage that is inflicted, may cause their death through suicide.
TCOPS is growing and we hope to offer services and a discussion group for family and
friends of the transgender officer, in the future. Please write to: TCOPS_Info@yahoo.com
for further information.
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